Not Your Choice
by ElisaCollette
Summary: Willow is distressed after discovering that Fred has been overtaken by Illyria—and even more upset when she realizes that she was never given the chance to help. This is going to be mostly Buffy, but with Angel, Fred, and possibly other Angel characters.
1. Distressing Decisions

I came up with this idea while watching an episode of Angel where he calls Giles to ask for Willow's help in saving Fred from being taken over by Illyria. Immediately, I thought about how much Willow would probably hate Giles making that decision for her and possibly hindering her ability to help a friend.

The characters don't belong to me, but the story ideas do. Let me know what you think and if I should continue. Hope you enjoy!

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Distressing Decisions

Vision-clouding tears and trembling hands hindered her speed as she haphazardly tried to pack the bag sitting on her unmade bed. Her ears were muffled by the sobs she was trying desperately to hold back and the voices she refused to acknowledge. Occasionally one of them would step forward and try to stop her progress, but she shrugged them off and continued to pack in between her trips to the laptop where she was desperately trying to schedule a flight out of the nightmare in which she was currently drowning. A petite brunette stood in the corner of the room, trying to talk to her through her own tears. Two men, one in his late forties and the other her own age, were trying to reason with her from the doorway of the tiny bedroom.

"Willow, please stop this," Kennedy cried from her corner. She was clutching one of Willow's sweaters, acting as though keeping that one article of clothing might also help her keep the owner. The redhead barely looked up long enough to glare at the younger girl, whose dark eyes were glistening with tears of frustration and guilt. Kennedy was well aware of what she had done and of the terrible consequences her actions had caused. Then again, she had always before gotten her way and it shocked her that Willow wouldn't even stop long enough to listen to her side of the story.

"Will, listen. We know you're upset—" If Xander had been trying to come up with the least offensive, most comforting way to speak to his friend, he failed miserably.

"You have no idea how I feel. You never knew her. You didn't have the choice to save her taken away from you—"

"Willow, you weren't reachable at the time," Giles said calmly as he removed his glasses and began to clean them.

"Don't speak to me," Willow hissed at her former mentor and father figure. "You- I can't – I can't even look at you." She tried to maintain her anger, but it hurt so much. She sat down on her bed and buried her face in her hands, refusing to allow the rest of them see her finally break. The tension was thick enough to choke on by the time the petite blond came running into the tiny house. Xander, Giles, and Kennedy were simply standing and staring at the distressed redhead, who was now curled up in the middle of her bed, her body racked with painful, sorrow-filled sobs.

"What is going on here?" Buffy demanded as she pushed through the two men and spotted the position of her best friend. The three bystanders looked around guiltily, but no one seemed willing to explain the situation. Buffy glared at Kennedy, on who she liked to lay the majority of the blame, and then sat down on the bed next to the sobbing witch. "Will, what happened sweetie?" Her voice became lighter, slightly teasing as she stroked Willow's hair. "Was it Kennedy, because I'd happily kill her for you." The younger slayer visibly flinched and backed further into the corner as Buffy's blue eyes came up to meet hers. The tiny blond continued to rub Willow's back as her sobs began to slow.

"Giles—" It was the only word Willow was able to stammer before falling back into a fit of sobs. Buffy looked up in confusion at him; the man she trusted most in the world. What could he have possibly done to cause so much distress to Willow, a girl who had looked up to him most of her life?

"We need to talk." Buffy addressed the three calmly, but with an ominous tone. "Dawn!" The littlest member of their strange and eclectic family appeared in the doorway and pushed her way past the two familiar men. She tried to smile in greeting, but the atmosphere didn't allow it. Buffy leaned down close to Willow, so that no one else heard could hear the hushed exchange of words. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Try to rest. We'll talk when I get back." Willow barely blinked in acknowledgement. "Dawn?" Dawn nodded and took a seat next to Willow as Buffy stood up and led the three guilty-looking parties into another room of the small house.

Dawn snuggled next to the redhead who had practically raised her over the past few years and tried to lend a comforting word or two. She didn't know what was going on, but she knew that Willow didn't cry over trivial occurrences; it had to be something gigantic and awful. After trying unsuccessfully to start a conversation with the now sniffling witch, Dawn sighed and attempted to listen to the screaming match that had begun in the living room.

"What happened to Willow?" Buffy demanded an answer as soon as they were all in the living room, as far away from the bedroom as the little abode would allow. She perched on the arm of the chair Xander occupied and faced the sofa where her ex-watcher and least favorite new slayer were sitting.

"I just got here," Xander attested with hands raised in a gesture of complete confusion and innocence. "I have no idea what's been going on. All I know is that Fred died. She's not taking it well."

"Why would she?" Buffy replied. "Especially right after Cordy. And everything that happened last year—and the year before that she lost Tara. Of course she's not going to take it well. But why is she packing? And why did you call me? What aren't you guys telling me?" Buffy realized that Xander's answer had created more questions that she had originally had swimming around in her jet-lagged brain.

"You're the only one who can convince her to stay here," Kennedy answered quietly. "Or at least the only one who can force her to stay here, if it came to that—"

"Newsflash Kennedy. In case you didn't realize this, I don't like you. And I'm really not going to force Willow to stay with you. If she wants to leave, I'll buy her the plane ticket myself. She knows she's always welcome to stay with Dawn and me in Rome—"

"It's not for me, it's for Willow's own good. She needs to stay here."

"Why? What's missing from the story? What's going on? Giles?" Her eyes fell to the retired librarian, who was once again cleaning his spotless spectacles. It usually meant he had to tell her something he knew she wouldn't want to here. He stood up and began to pace the short length of the room, stopping only to avoid the few pieces of furniture impeding his path. Not certain where he should begin; he simply started to talk.

"A little over two months ago, Willow was experimenting with astral projection. You probably remember—"

"Yeah," Buffy said with a nod. "Her astral self scared me to death when she showed up in my kitchen. She thought it was so funny. I mean, it sort of was, but only after I stopped screaming."

"Yes, well, she progressed beyond this plane of existence and began to use astral projection to travel to different dimensions. She was doing quite well, but she never knew how long she would be gone. Indeed, it was probably a bad idea to allow her to continue, but she had progressed to such an elevated level, she always wanted to see how much further she could push her powers."

"Sounds like the same old Willow. This story going somewhere?"

"Yes, well, if I may continue." He cleared his throat and replaced his glasses. "While she was on one of these trips to another dimension, I received a telephone call from Los Angeles. It was—of course—"

"Angel," Buffy supplied. Giles nodded and continued.

"Yes. He wanted Willow's help on a problem. He said that his scientist friend—"

"Fred," Xander supplied.

"Yes, Fred. She had inhaled the essence of an ancient being. Illyria, I believe they call her. She was being taken over, inside out. It eventually became the girl, looking just like her but possessing the spirit and mind of the ancient being. Angel wanted, actually demanded—Willow's help."

"And what did you do?"

"I told him that we weren't in the business of helping people working for the enemy."

"You punished an innocent girl because of a decisions Angel made?" Buffy was stunned by the lack of emotion in Giles' voice as he spoke of Fred. "It was Angel's choice to take over Wolfram and Hart. From what I understand, the rest of them were part of his team and so they went with him. They were working for Angel, not the enemy."

"Buffy, when well you learn? Angel is the enemy. As long as he is aligning himself with an evil entity, he is enabling that evil. Anyone who became involved with him was aware of the risks associated—"

"She could read Latin," a tremulous voice informed them from the doorway. They all turned to see a tear-stained Willow standing against the doorframe, obviously leaning against it for support.

"Sorry," Dawn whispered softly to Buffy. "We could hear you in there. She wanted to come out." Buffy nodded took Willow's hand, leading the distraught witch to the last remaining piece of available furniture. The two old friends fit themselves in the oversized armchair and Dawn took Buffy's place on the arm of Xander's chair.

"What were you saying Will?"

"She could read Latin," Willow repeated in a stronger voice. "Fred. The woman whose life you had a hand in ending." Her commented was pointed at Giles, but Buffy couldn't help but notice that Kennedy looked awfully guilty as well. "She read Latin, and loved fairy tales. And had a stuffy bunny named Feigenbaum—"

"Mister Gordo—" Buffy whispered softly.

"She was a person Giles, a good person. She didn't deserve to die—" Willow's eyes were red from holding back fresh tears, but she was determined not to cry again. "She lived through hell in a demon dimension where she was a slave for five years. She was a pretty, intelligent college student from Texas who spent her late teens and early twenties in an alternate dimension where she was treated like an animal. Angel saved her. That's why she was so willing to go to Wolfram and Hart for him. He saved her. And this time, he needed my help to save her. And you didn't even give me the chance. She died because you didn't give me a chance to help."

"Willow," Giles said calmly, holding the redhead's green gaze. "I'm sorry you feel that way. But you weren't even in this dimension. It's unrealistic to believe—"

"You knew how to get me back. You knew how to do it, just in case of emergencies."

"I apologize. I used my best judgment."

"That's not good enough!" Willow screamed, startling everyone in the room. "It wasn't your choice to make. It was not your choice—" Her voice began to break as she began to cry again and she sagged exhaustedly into her best friend, who was trying to pay attention to Willow and glare daggers at Giles at the same time. Buffy rubbed Willow's back and tried to whisper reassurances, but she wasn't sure what to say. In one simple act, Willow's faith in Giles was shattered and her friend was dead.

"Buffy, you have to help me go. They're trying to stop me from going—"

"Go where? Stop you how?"

"I think she wants to go to the city of Angel," Xander said solemnly. He tried to fill in gaps wherever possible, but he knew very little of what was going on. Kennedy had called him because she thought he could convince Willow to stay away from the City of Angels and remain with her in Brazil. Xander had agreed to come only after realizing that Willow was on the verge of a major meltdown.

"I have been working on a binding spell," Giles admitted finally, realizing that Buffy knew there was more going on than they were leading her to believe.

"To keep her here?" Giles nodded shamefully and Buffy's eyes narrowed once more.

"I know you don't like Angel," Buffy started out in a warning voice. "But we're not in the business of judging and being spiteful before helping someone who is in trouble. If Willow thinks she can help, she'll go to L.A." Before Kennedy could begin her protest, Buffy silenced her with a steely blue glare. "Let me fill in the holes to this lovely story you've all woven for me. Giles doesn't tell Willow about Fred, but he does tell Kennedy to tell her when she returns. Willow returns, but girlfriend here conveniently forgets to tell her. Jealous much?" Kennedy glared at the older slayer, but couldn't deny what she was implying.

"Here's what we're going to do," Buffy said in a mockingly cheerful voice, never taking her hand out of Willow's. "Giles, you're going to get at least three tickets to L.A. as soon as possible. First thing tomorrow morning would be great. Xander, call Angel and get an update on what's happening with this ancient power running around in Fred's body. Dawn, could you pack a bag for Willow? Kennedy, you can box everything else up while we're in L.A. It'll be sent for later." Willow couldn't believe her ears; Buffy was breaking up with Kennedy for her. She wasn't sure whether to argue because Buffy was making a decision that clearly wasn't hers to make or be grateful that there would be an end to the continually tense relationship.

"You can't just take her away from me—"

"You did that yourself," Willow answered in a soft, shaking voice. "You never had anything to worry about with Fred. If you would have just trusted me, but no – and now your jealousy cost a lovely woman her life."

"Willow, please—"

"I'm sorry Kennedy. I have to go."

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I've never written Buffy fiction before, so please let me know if you're interested in the story and think I should continue.


	2. In a Positive Direction

Chapter 2 – In a Positive Direction

"Here's what we're going to do," Buffy said in a mockingly cheerful voice, never taking her hand out of Willow's. "Giles, you're going to get at least three tickets to L.A. as soon as possible. Two more if you and Xander are up for the trip. First thing tomorrow morning would be great. Xander, call Angel and get an update on what's happening with this ancient power running around in Fred's body. Dawn, could you pack a bag for Willow? Kennedy, you can box everything else up while we're in L.A. It'll be sent for later." Willow couldn't believe her ears; Buffy was breaking up with Kennedy for her. She wasn't sure whether to argue because Buffy was making a decision that clearly wasn't hers to make or be grateful that there would be an end to the continually tense relationship.

"You can't just take her away from me—"

"You did that yourself," Willow answered in a soft, shaking voice. "You never had anything to worry about with Fred. If you would have just trusted me, but no – and now your jealousy cost a lovely woman her life."

"Willow, please—"

"I'm sorry Kennedy. I have to go." Willow stood up with Buffy and allowed her friend to do most of the work in navigating back to her room; she was almost too exhausted to pick up her own feet. The mental and emotional turmoil of finding out about Fred coupled with the physical weariness of being awake for almost two days was finally bearing down on her. As Buffy stepped back into the bedroom, she felt the full weight of Willow as the witch momentarily lost consciousness. Dawn helped her get Willow ready for bed and tucked under the covers.

"Why don't you see what you can find for dinner," Buffy suggested to her little sister. Dawn nodded and disappeared, leaving the two best friends alone. Willow's eyes flickered open and she tried to sit up but Buffy pushed her back down, refusing to allow her out of bed. "Lie down. You need to rest. You just passed out on me."

"Fred—"

"Is going to be the same tomorrow as she is today. And we won't be able to get a flight right away. So your time will be best spent here. In bed." When Willow tried once again to sit up, Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes. "Have you already forgotten that I'm the slayer? You're not going anywhere until you sleep and have something to eat. Alright?" Willow nodded and sank back into her pillows after she realized that she didn't have the strength or will it would take to defy the slayer; let alone her best friend. Buffy noticed though the small glint of defiance in her friend's green eyes and knew that Willow wouldn't go to sleep anytime soon.

"How long has it been this bad with Kennedy?"

"It hasn't been bad—" Willow started to argue but Buffy quickly silenced her with a look of disbelief. "Alright. It's been—tense—for a while."

"She never—" Buffy knew what she wanted to ask, but wasn't sure how to inoffensively broach the subject.

"No! No. She would never hurt me. She's just very insecure when it comes to our relationship—there wasn't trust. And I was always the responsible, mature one."

"You always were—no matter who you were with," Buffy said with a smile.

"It wasn't the same though. Tara – Oz – they both took responsibility for things. And they—"

"Took care of you," Buffy finished after she realized that Willow was at a loss for words. The redhead nodded, burying her face in one of the pillows to hide her coming tears. "Willow, look at me- Willow." Willow eventually turned to face her friend again and reached up shakily to wipe away the tears. "Listen to me, you have not failed here. Calling an end to something that doesn't make you happy is in no way failure."

"I know," Willow said sadly.

"No you don't," Buffy said with a sad shake of her head. "You think you're supposed to be perfect. And no one is. People make mistakes. Sometimes you just have to admit defeat and move on."

"You never did."

"My admitting defeat would have ended in apocalypses. Not so good." Willow shook her head in agreement and Buffy sighed again as she played with a few strands of long auburn hair that were fanned against the light purple pillowcase. "Will you think about coming to Rome for a while? After L.A. of course. Dawn and I miss you. We don't always know what to do without our Willow. Besides," she said with a smile, "I haven't been able to help Dawn with her homework since she was in the sixth grade. What happens when she starts this three sided math-whosy whatsit stuff?"

"Three dimensional calculus?" Willow asked, biting her lip to refrain from giggling.

"That sounds right. See, we need you. For many reasons beyond academic too."

"I don't know—" Willow said uncertainly, even though her heart ached at the idea of being with them again – it had been the only time in her life that she had truly belonged to a family. "I couldn't intrude—"

"You're not intruding," Buffy interrupted to insist. "I'm inviting you. I don't know what I would have done those two years without you."

"You wouldn't have had to do anything at all if I hadn't yanked you out of heaven."

"Hey! I really thought we were past that. I'm over it. You didn't know where I was. And hey, if I had been in a hell dimension, I certainly would have wanted to be yanked out. Please stop feeling guilty about it. I'm happy now. I want my Willow to be happy too."

"I second that," a voice said from the doorway. "Room for one more?" Buffy moved to the other side of Willow to make room for Xander, who looked like a little boy who had just been caught steeling candy. "Will, I'm sorry. I never would have tried to keep you here if I had realized. Giles was wrong—I get that. But he thought he was protecting you."

"Protecting me?"

"Xander," Buffy said in a tone that warned him to back away from the subject.

"Yes, protecting you. At the prospect of getting beaten up by a slayer and Wicca, listen for a minute before you start attacking." The two girls were silent, a sign for him to continue. "Giles knew that the only way to help Fred was to jump into some pretty dark magic; from what he says, they were things you didn't even touch the last time you—"

"Tried to end the world?" Willow supplied in a miserable tone.

"Something like that," Xander said with a nod. "He thought that the chance was so slim of actually helping Fred, it wasn't worth the risk to you."

"But it should have been my decision," Willow argued. Her voice was growing quieter with each argument and Buffy noticed that her eyelids were beginning to droop.

"Yes, it should have. But the past is over. Nothing we can do to change it now. If there's any way to help Fred, you'll find it. In the morning," Buffy warned. "I need to go check on Dawn and have a serious heart-to-heart with my English pseudo-father. Or fist-to-jaw. Haven't decided yet."

Her lighthearted joke procured exactly what it was supposed to from Willow—a genuine smile. Buffy stood up and leaned in to kiss Willow's cheek. "Just yell if you need anything." Willow nodded as Xander stood up and walked over to a chair in the corner of the room and settled himself there. "And you are not to get out of this bed, barring any mortal dangers, of course."

"No problem there," Xander said from his new station.

"You don't need to stay," Willow argued tiredly.

"And yet I still want to." The case closed, Buffy left the room and closed the door gently behind her. As soon as she was out of the room with her emotionally fragile friend, her entire demeanor changed from one of comfort to one of anger. She tracked down her ex-watcher, who was sitting in the kitchen with a very angry Kennedy, who was ranting about Buffy. Giles didn't seem to be paying any attention to the young girl, but she did not seem to take that into consideration as she continued to vent her resentment of the blond slayer.

"I need to talk to Giles," Buffy said as she walked into the kitchen. Kennedy looked around her, as though Buffy could have been talking to anyone. Buffy glared, but Kennedy met that with an equally paralyzing gaze that refused to back down.

"This is my house."

"Good for you. Giles?" Buffy nodded towards the back door and Giles stood up to follow her out into the humid night air. The weather in England was always quite dreary and the sun was always shining in California, but this place where Willow had chosen to move seemed to go from extremely humid to always rainy, and then back again. Giles wasn't quite sure why she had chosen to go to Brazil, but he was happy he wasn't required to be there often. When they had all gotten together since the destruction of their original home, they had met in England, a place where Giles was always comfortable.

Buffy paced the length of Willow and Kennedy's back porch, playing with strands of humidity-curled hair that had sprung from her low pony tail. Giles was perched on the railing, cleaning his glasses, as they both remained silent; unsure of where to start.

"I did what I thought was best," Giles said eventually, breaking the tense silence.

"I know," Buffy replied calmly, much to his surprise. "I don't think this—breakdown—of Willow's is completely your fault. Some of it is your fault," she said pointedly. "But not all of it. She's down here, isolated from everyone else. With Kennedy – psycho-overprotective girlfriend. She's lost so much over the last few years, Fred was just one too many."

"The risk was too great. And the idea of helping anyone affiliated with that law firm doesn't sit well. As the slayer, your duty is to protect people from entities such as Wolfram and Hart, not help save someone who works for them."

"I'm not _the_ slayer anymore," Buffy retorted quietly. "But I am Willow's best friend. There are other people to fight the big battles. I think I've earned a reprieve. So has she. We're going to L.A. tomorrow and we're going to try and help. If that means entering Wolfram and Hart on friendly terms, that's what's going to happen." Buffy's blue gaze fell to Giles, who simply nodded and replaced his glasses, not sure how he would even begin to argue with her statement. Willow did deserve a break from saving the world; or sometime soon she would be the one needing to be saved.

The small house was bustling as soon as the sun rose the next morning; most of the inhabitants trying to get ready for a trip to Los Angeles. Willow awoke with a new sense of purpose and immediately began researching while the others packed what they would need for the trip. The only one not going back to the United States was Kennedy; Buffy hadn't even given her the choice to travel with them. She spent most of the time in the kitchen, staying as far from the rest as possible.

With Xander and Giles handling luggage and Buffy and Dawn ready to pounce on anything she needed, Willow never left her room until they were ready to leave for the airport. Her green eyes refused to meet Kennedy's as she walked to the front door. At the last second, she quietly asked the rest of the group to wait in the car; she would only be an extra moment. After convincing Buffy to leave her alone for a short while, Willow turned to the silent brunette.

"I'm sorry it ended this way."

"But not that it ended."

"We both knew it would."

"You can't let her run your life," Kennedy said with a glare towards the window, through which they could see Buffy.

"She doesn't," Willow said with a reluctant smile. "She's my friend. Friends are supposed to help you realize when you're on the wrong road."

"I'm the wrong road," Kennedy repeated flatly.

"It's not you—"

"Yeah, yeah. Save the crap. The 'it's not you, it's me' speech."

"I am sorry."

"You're going to miss your flight." She turned away before Willow could answer or begin another round of the conversation. Willow bit her bottom lip, tried to decide what to say, and then decided that there was nothing that could possibly help the moment; she picked up her purse and left without a second look. The flight was uneventful but extremely long. Willow spent a good deal of the time working with Dawn, attempting to come up with some type of spell that would help save Fred.


	3. Preparations

Thank you for the reviews – they are always appreciated. I'm always happy to know that someone other than myself is enjoying the story. Please let me know what you think!

Chapter 3 Preparations

"Willow, you shouldn't be here." It was the first thing out of Angel's mouth and not at all what the young witch had expected as a greeting. "It's not safe," he said almost sternly, his eyes fixed on Buffy, who he was clearly insinuating should have known better. She glared right back, eyes never leaving his.

"I'm here. And I want to help," Willow said firmly, her eyes blazing with anger; she was daring him to stop her.

"Fred is gone."

"She's not," Wesley said angrily, coming up from behind his friend. "Her soul has not crossed over. There is still time."

"I know," Willow said calmly, her uncharacteristic annoyance not surfacing until she turned to Angel and continued. "You can't look at what happened to her as a death. It wasn't a death and she's not resting peacefully in some heavenly realm. She's stuck inside that _thing_." As she mentioned Illyria as a _thing_, her expression flickered darkly, giving them all a momentary glance into the physical manifestations of her anger.

"Oh dear," a tremulous voice said loudly. They all looked up as Lorne walked down the stairs toward them, his eyes trained on Willow and his expression one of hesitance and weariness. "Darling witchy-kins, you're looking a little chaotic in the aura."

"Hi Lorne," she said, attempting to muster a smile.

"What are you all doing here? Is there a new big bad? Because we're still reeling from the last one."

"I only came to help Fred," Willow assured him.

"Willow, this is not up for discussion. It's too dangerous." Angel's eyes scanned the room, taking in the dozens of employees who were trying to catch a glance at the attractive guests. Although they were accustomed to strange visitors, they were not used to legends being in their midst. "Let's go talk about this somewhere else."

"Good idea," Willow agreed quickly. "Where do you keep the ancient manuscripts? I'm looking for one on the Gods. I know I used it when Glory took over, but I'm positive I sent it to you, Wesley. Last year, when you were having the "happy people" problem."

"I remember it – the volume on weaknesses – red leather bound, if I remember correctly. I'm sure it's among my collection. I haven't had the chance to go through all the boxes from my last home—"

"Then let's get to it," Willow said, almost reminiscent of her usual self.

Eighteen hours after they arrived at the law offices, Willow had sequestered herself into Wesley's office with mountains of books and items of reference. She furiously took notes and talked to herself, attempting to work something out in her brilliant mind. She snapped at anyone who entered, save Dawn. Even the young girl could not convince Willow to eat anything or take even a brief break.

Buffy stood outside the office, staring at her friend, her fingers remaining busy by worrying the ends of her blond locks. Angel stepped out of the shadows to her side, his presence immediately calming; she much that it made Buffy cringe in annoyance at herself. "She can't keep this up."

"Do you want to tell her that?" Buffy asked, her voice rose in warning.

"No," he said with a worried smile. "I'd rather fight ten slayers."

"Me too," she agreed. "Have you seen Dawn?"

"Lorne took her and Xander back to Cordelia's apartment. I didn't think they'd want to stay here tonight." She nodded her head and they both went back to staring into the office. The silence remained for a long while before Buffy finally chose to break it.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Work in a place dedicated to the evil you fight every day."

"It keeps the people I care about safe," he said simply, refusing to make eye contact.

"Not Fred," she said softly, just loud enough for his senses to latch onto the sounds. Point being made, she gently pushed open the door to Wesley's office and crept inside, her eyes focused on Willow. The young witch hadn't looked so tired since she'd given power to every potential slayer in the world; and that had taken oodles of energy. She concentrated on her words, refusing to let them slip through her lips; it would only aggravate her friend. It was a skill she hadn't practices since parting with Xander and Willow – the only two people she had ever been able to communicate with telepathically. "Willow, you need to rest. You can't help Fred while you're exhausted."

"Leave me alone," Willow shot back, her eyes and lips never moving.

"No," Buffy answered firmly, "Not until you take a break.

"Get out."

"Don't make me kick your ass," Buffy thought firmly, her mind set in its stubborn fashion. Willow finally looked up from the book she was studying and her irises, ebony rimmed with alabaster, quickly returned to their normal shade of green. As soon as that happened, she collapsed – before Buffy made it to her side. Angel entered the room and gently lifted the exhausted woman into his arms, indicating that Buffy should follow. While she slept in a fitful unconsciousness, Wesley and Angel looked over what Willow had done. She had found spells to incapacitate Illyria, spells to withdraw Fred's spirit, and spells to rebuild the lost organs.

As far as the two men could see, she had found almost everything she needed as far as information. There were several problems with the plan she was hatching and those problems troubled both men. "She can't do this herself. She'll never come back from it. There's no safe magic that can rebuild the human body," Angel said to Buffy as he handed her a cup of tea.

"And even if she used every bit of her own power, she still wouldn't be able to pull this off. Each spell must be offered in the right order, at the precise time. It's highly unlikely that the most experienced witch could handle this," Wesley added.

"That's why I need help," Willow said as she stood against the doorway, bracing her exhausted body. "I need you to make these phone calls. Get them here now," she said, handing a sheet of paper to Angel. He could see at least two dozen names.

"Who are they?" Buffy posed her question as she walked next to her friend and helped her over to a sofa in Angel's living room. She could feel that Willow was still lacking power; she could barely stand on her own.

Willow rested her eyes for a moment before looking up at her friends. "Two covens. One from England – I met them through Giles. And the other is family. My mother's side – we were never close, but they'll come."

"We'll make the phone calls if you rest," Buffy said firmly. "I'm not letting you attempt this thing until you're back to your normal strength. Otherwise you're going to kill yourself."

"There's too much to do," Willow objected, trying to stand. Angel put his hand on her arm, stopping her attempt. He shook his head and she could see the concern in his eyes.

"Tell Wesley what you need. We'll gather whatever supplies and people are necessary while you rest. I'm with Buffy on this one. There's no way you're working these spells half-asleep. You'll kill more than yourself." Defeated with both champions willing to block her attempts to continue, Willow sighed deeply and closed her eyes. After gathering her thoughts, she gave Wesley a list of what she needed. She sipped obediently from the cup of tea Angel offered and again tried to explain why she needed to oversee everything; she couldn't possibly sleep. Eyelids drooping, she realized all too late that the tea had been drugged.

"Jerk," she muttered as Angel carried her back to bed.

"Brat," he answered as he placed her among the soft blankets and pillows. She drifted to sleep, this time a much calmer rest aided by the Valium that had been slipped into her cup. While she slept, the others gathered what she had insisted upon and readied themselves for visitors.


End file.
